Raw: Dark hole.

Raw in the sense that it comes straight from the heart... NO FILTER. What goes on in m head/heart.

ENJOY!!!!

...

Silence as you unleashed the beast that you call passion

I would sit and listen in awe

You'd teach and then send samples and share stories too

I would simply adore.

I was rough and wry, and a little damaged

but you provided that healing supply

As I've never been one to say it how it is

I just usually go with the flow

But with you, it was different, you brought out the best

and removed me from that dark hole.

Tears.

Anger.

Pain.

I run away from the world as nothing is the same

It's different without you,

Everyday...

A new challenge

I try even harder to move on.

But I see you in my sleep

and even worse, in my daily activities

Leave me please

Is it not enough that my heart you have seized

I'm running again, this time towards you

I don't even realise till I'm at your door

Face front with rejection like I'm asking for more.

I'm weak in yearning for you and your love

I want that and more, I want your touch

But I know I can't so I just turn away, 

And walk back to my little dark hole.

Now I'm jealous of what I don't even know

and my eyes are simply on fire.

Breathing is difficult

and Hating seems best

but I give you more time, like you're under a test

and convince myself that I like you much less

But I can't so I get bitter and cold

and the next best option is to avoid

So I'm sly in my ways 

and I'm playing it 'lowkey'

but you still seem to be everywhere I go

so I'm packing my bags and running again back into that dark hole.

Are you trying to hurt me?

Do you thrive off my pain?

Do my utter discomfort and sorrow bring you joy?

Or am just a project, a future referral
Why do I feel like this was all just one game

I refuse to believe this, based on what you told me

or tell me were those simply just lies

To please me?

Cos you didn't. You only worsened the situation

and now I wear my emotions in disguise

Pretending I’m fine

When I'm aching within

My heart... bleeding

From the piercing you gave.

I'll survive...

But with a big dark hole in it.

Excuse my odd moods,

It's just me recovering

And pardon me, for be upset you moved on

A couple months later, I'm more than forgotten

and there's no point in trying to hold on.

I had hope for the future

I'm sorry you didn't

I wanted more than I could chew

Or maybe I didn't, I just wanted pure joy

And that seemed to come with you.

Now I can't have that, 

Someone else can.

And my pain goes deep

Deep into that dark hole.

© Toni Peters