The man in my head.

The man in my head makes it impossible for me to beloved,
Because by his standards, no man is ever enough.
From his looks to his intelligence, to his passions to his names
All other men are commoners to this beauty in my brain.
I know what job he has, how many kids he wants.
I know his life plans and where we will reside.

His reactions to my actions are perfectly executed,
He's submissive and authoritative in one.
We argue, he loses, but at the same time wins
And ALWAYS make sure the fight ends when we are done.
The compliments he gives are ready set in my head.
His opinion must be fingerprint match with mine

The man in my head, let's me be who I want,
Doesn't try to define my character.
He accept all my flaws and doesn't challenge them
and he has no flaws himself either
He cooks and he cleans and doesn't complain
He hangs out with me more than the boys.

But the man doesn't exist, in reality, no.
It's all perfections jumbled in my head,
When the perfect one, must've definitely come by,
But I await the man up there instead
It's not that men are incapable of such,
but men will be men and their needs and likes are pretty much the same
So in expecting this all I have created a prisoner
Which no man ever wants to be.

I tell myself, that my problem is loving, when in fact that's nowhere near the truth,
Cos I know how to love imperfections and all
And I care for that stuff,
I crave it and more.
So what then is my issue at end?

Simply put, I don't know how to be loved,
This man in my brain has consumed my reality and filled me with expectations,
So when a man does it his way, I see it as wrong
So I'm packing my bags, I'm running and gone

But who am I to judge how to love,
Did he tell me that my way was perfect?
Did he ask me to pamper and do as he pleases?
What if he want's that drama queen?

By the time I realise, it's me that's the problem,
He's mentally drifted apart,
Another woman has found him, and helped him in healing
And mended his disfigured heart.
He loves her the way she wants and she loves him too
And I'm on the sideline, thinking what did I do?
I made up thousands and thousands of rules
and forgot the golden number one

Let love live.
Love is it's own and will do as it needs be.
So do not restrict or constrain
For our creation of love is what confuses us,
And makes us unable to love again.