MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!: 'The reason' of the season.

MERRY CHRISTMASS EVERYONE!

Okay, so by UK time, I'm late by an 2hours + but other places are still in Christmas soo it's all good :)
Lol... Besides, in my household, Christmas day is also the day that my name becomes pleasnt on the tongues of all adults and I'm asked to do all sorts of tasks. And as my cooking is desired by many, the kitchen becomes my bedroom. This year it wasn't so bad tbh, and I love my pressies. Did you have a good one?

Well hope we didn't forget the reason for the season? Yups... Church was where I was at midnight! Lol. Celebrating the birth of Christ... But this post hasn't got much to do with that tbh. It's just a play on words.

This is called the reason, and well, it's my gift to you all this season!  Enjoy. Share. Feedback.

The reason

Feel bad for how you met me

You know it was wrong.

Though unspoken, I should've let be

You and I for the Long

Run, is all I want to do, away from you. 

But the voices in my head argue against that.

Telling me 'you can't do better, he's the best you'll ever have. ' 

And I'm beginning to believe them since all my luck is

'Bad, boys' all I seem to attract. 

Or do I just repel the goods ones in an attempt to not look weak.

Overly bearing, insistingly independent and convincingly confident I seem.

But there's fear and pain and sorrow and anger and so much more within.

So when I do move on, I compare him to you. And the similar traits are a perfect reminder. 

Of what I never made of what I had and

Ponder the possibility of having you back. 

And the next lad is wondering what's on my mind. 

Trying his hardest to submerge into my thoughts. 

But all his efforts are regarded as tries to submerge further under my clothes. 

So here I am barricading my heart and with my legs crossed pretending that's really the truth. 

When deep down I'm ready, for my heart to be open, but the holder of the key seems to be you. 

But you knoweth this not and I live in denial, I can't stand that you've completely moved on. 

So I psyche myself that I'm better than her or maybe I am and now I'm off to the world. 

To start a search in purity and faith but you seem to find your way back or I unknowingly want you or maybe I don't or I subliminally fall into your trap. 

And we talk and we catch up and there's so much to share, I feel like the beginning that you've always been there.

Then we flirt and we tease and something reignites, till you spoil the moment and have to remind 

Me. I'm not the one for you, but that also means for anyone.

Because I'm too damaged to move on, but too proud to move back. 

So I'm on my own little island . Trying to fix me and leave you behind but I don't seem to know how. 

Friendship is impossible and it's too late for us now so my future is without you till I've at least figured it out.

And when I do I'll tell you, not in an attempt to brag, but to be sure I'm strong and you no longer hold me.

To the next you whom I'm now ready to love please understand that it will take time. 

So don't be the other option, help me leave this Island and ill know when we've arrived.

Cos we'll both be able to feel it in all types of ways, our souls, our bodies and mind.

And I may fall overboard and travel away, I promise you I'll return one day,

For through thunderstorms and hail, no matter the season,

You'll bear with me, so long as you understand this reason.

© Toni Peters