Chronicles of an IJGB: Renewal

'No corps member is to leave the state in which they are posted in, moreover the country.'

That line rang in my head as my plane touched down in Heathrow. Apparently, My IJGB status had reached its expiration date, so I had to goan renew the stoffs. LOL. Don't follow me and goan travel oh. I actually got permission and had some personal issues to resolve. But boy it was needed. Lagos had shown me the ultimates of a Yoruba demon, the stresses of being broke, disorganization and every other thing under the sun that I could complain about.

Smiling November: Good Friends

Happy Halloween!! So this month is dedicated to making people smile. I try to smile a lot but I also have a resting bitch face. But even in that, I love to make smile... telling jokes, funny stories, memories, acting silly, doing whatever. Now, I'm going to use my talent to make people smile. I'm going to try my very best to do this through personals and dedications. I will try and be sweet, funny, entertaining and empowering. I can't tell you the frequency of the posts, but a minimum of two in a week. 

Chronicles of an IJGB: Not every weekend tun up.

I did not enter a club in Lagos this weekend... somebody say HALLELUJAH!!!

Chronicles of an IJGB: Ghost Town

It's been over a month since the last post. You'd think nothing has happened in Lagos. The truth is, so much has happened and I've lost track and recollection. I never knew where to start from so I kept telling myself that I'd update you guys 'next week' Boy oh boy... the weeks have been fun filled. I don't even know how to give a  detailed summary of whats been going on since the last post. I'll try and bring highlights

Church
I went to church for the first time in 6 weeks... or there abouts. I forgot how much I love going to church. I don't know if it's society that's implanted that it's a place of renewal or that I'm always filled with the spirit.. I'm still struggling in my understanding, but I do know that whenever I attend service and the word speaks to me, I'm happy. That's how church makes me feel, so I guess this Christianity thing is right. For me... and as I grow, I hope i can share that with you.

Demons And Sex Appeal!

LONG TIME NO POEM!!!

Ever since my Grandma died, I've had difficulty writing. It could be a coincidence, it could be an excuse but that's my story. So I started listening to other peoples stories. Hurt, Pain, Joy whatever... and one thing that struck me most were the heartbreak stories. It wasn't the stories, it was how we found humour in the experience and could laugh away the pain.
I've used the stories of different females, and how guys have avoided relationships but come up with things they like about us... this poem outlines the general sex appeal which guys discuss, and goes on to explain that it's the sex appeal that they like not us. It's based on a collection of stories told by victims of the 'Yoruba Demon' stereotype.

Demons and Sex Appeal

It's the way you have the confidence to stare

That creates a strong tension in the air.

It's the swish and sway of your Peruvian hair

And how you look amazing no matter what you wear?

Death and it's awkwardness.

I've been thinking about death a lot. I want to talk about it, but everybody's always uncomfortable about it. I'm here like, 'you know you're going to die someday, right?' But God forbid I put volume in that thought. Especially in this Nigeria, because should the person have an accident or lose money, or basically experience some sort of misfortune, I'd become the bad mouthed enemy who cursed them. 'My God is greater.' They'd tell me. 

'But did you die.' I believe in this statement so much for this reason. 

So yeah, I think about death. Someone said it's because I experienced the death of a loved one... Perhaps it's true. Or perhaps it's cos I've noticed more people dying, or perhaps because living in Nigeria can be a near death experience itself. But I never talk about it. Even with those that have lost loved ones, we don't talk about it. 

But I finally got to, so now we're all going to talk about death. PEOPLE DIE!!! You don't lose a loved one like some spare change. They don't 'pass', like you're discussing their driving test, and they don't kick the bucket. They die. There is nothing wrong in saying my parent/uncle/aunt/grandparent/sibling/cousin/relative/ friend/neighbour died. (delete as appropriate before you start yelling God forbid in your mind or at your screen- you can't hold me responsible please) No need to sugar coat it. People are so uncomfortable with hearing the words dead and died. 

Chronicles of an IJGB: A helping hand.

NYSC registration opens tomorrow, so that means there's a new set of IJGB's coming into Lagos real soon. I'm not sure what that means for me. They won't accept me as an IJGB, but the expired ones won't accept me either.

'You've been here for four months, wow, that's long.' vs. 'Please, you've ONLY been here for 4 months.'

I guess the IJGB status is yours for as long as you hold on to it, so I'm doing just that. Till I'm done here.
Anyways, a lot of people have been aksing me NYSC related questions (you will think that the FAQ on their website leads to my DMs) so in response I've made this post.  Advice, Key Dates, and Lists. It's pretty extensive and it's not going to make things 'easy' for you. BUT it will help.

Chronicles of an IJGB: I'M TIRED!!

I say this alot.
'I'm tired.'

Chronicles of an IJGB: Because Bestfriends!

I have a lot of best friends apparently. I'm not about to defend myself or tell you who is or isn't, but I'm a friendly person, so best friends are inevitable. Over the past two weeks... two of my best friends came in for a week respectively.

You trying to count my bestfriends.

Chronicles of an IJGB: In sickness and in health.

A couple years ago, I came back to Lagos for a brief period and it felt like jumping back into a relationship with an ex. Few changes, but old habits remain. I even did a series on it:  My summer fling with an ex.

So coming back to Lagos this time has been more to show my ex, you can't weigh me down! But exes have a hold on you. Something like Ajebutter's song, Okafor's law. I think that's Lagos and I.

Can I just add that I enjoy(ed) this album.

Anyway, enough about my pathetic (non-existent) love life. Let's get down to business.

Chronicles of an IJGB: Lagos sufferrings.

Apparently, I've created the illusion that I am absolutley LOVING Lagos.

Brothers and sisters, this is NOT the case.
It's not that I hate it oh! I just try to have fun at EVERY given opportunity and Lagos seems to provide a few of those. But don't forget... Looks can be deceiving... All na wash! All na packaging!

HOWEVER... Contrary to popular opinion, Lagos doesn't make you fatter or darker. I've both lost weight and apparently gotten lighter. NW50 - NW45. If you know, you know.

Chronicles of an IJGB: That LONG weekend.

Imagine finishing work on Wednesday evening, knowing that the next time you have to work is... TUESDAY!!!

Elated doesn't even begin to decribe how I felt man, but I was joyful joyful. Now that I lookback at the weekend, I shake my head. One thing I said I'd leave behind in London was over consumption of alcohol. 'You can have a litle, but not too much.' - *Chimamanda voice*

Problem is I don't know where the line between the two is. Kind of like driving in Nigeria. One minute your on your lane... next there's no lane and BAM... everyone is a mad man. I didn't even realise I was on that lane till the next morning.

Chronicles of an IJGB: The internet.

It's sad but communication in Nigeria is EXPENSIVE.

From Data to phonecalls, nothing is pocket friendly. Let's not even get on to the call packages. Where do I even start with those? COSTLY to the core!!! No sense at all.

Midnight calls don't even exist, texting is ridiculous so how then am I supposed to talk.

I remember being on 600mins, 500 texts, and unlimited internet with for £13. I'd easily go over and still have less than £50 to pay. Today that's what? N4000? LOL!!
Do you know how LITTLE N4000 gets you here? I'm not even sure if it gets me 60 mins.

Chronicles of an IJGB: The working world.

I struggled for 9 months to get a full time employment in London after graduation. Now, 3 months in, under the name of NYSC, I’m working 9 hour long days. 7:30 – 4:30, and that’s only because ‘I’m still new.’ Apparently, it gets worse.

I’m not even going to dwell on that.

But hey, I can’t complain… I’m living without BVN to parental bank account, so that account is closed up. So a job isn’t half bad, besides, if I don’t work, Lord KNOWS what I’d be spending my time doing. So I work… in a school. No I don’t teach. I’m administrative staff… a fancy way (at least I think) of saying I’m a secretary.

Chronicles of an IJGB: That time in camp.

My 6 week hiatus is explainable. I was in Camp. An yes, I could've used my phone, but really, phone battery life is more valuable than that. Lol.

So, many people have asked, why exactly I'm in Nigeria, and well the truth? I'm here to do NYSC. For those of you that don't know, explore and understand. Anyways, the first hurdle of this programme is 'camp'.

I could go on forever with tales of what happened, I could go on urging you all to go, and make those of you who chickened out feel like weaklings and that, but i won't. There's better recounts and more interesting tales on Culture Custodian.

But I'll share a couple interesting things I learnt/observed:

Chronicles of an IJGB: an eventful weekend

Friday was a quiet day. It was public holiday, we had fuel, but no one else did. There was no where to go! 😫😫

That and we were so tired!! 

By we I mean my beautiful friend Teni. She's actually my oldest friend. 15 years and counting. 

Enough of that dull night! Fast forward to Saturday! 

First Saturday rocks.

As Lagos has it, every Saturday presents a wedding so #WEMOVE!!! 

Chronicles of an IJGB: Humble beginnings.

It's official guys, I'm an IJGB. The worst part of this coined term is that I struggle to actually say the dumb thing. I've bitten my gums twice already. Sent the house girl to get bonjela because I know that won't be the last time. 

I was just gonna keep my journal/diary about this experience, but a good friend (Shoutout to Lanre) gassed me to blog about it. Apparently, some of you will be interested. So I will entertain you with as much as I can, from random stories to encounters with Nigerian men and the popularly slandered Yoruba boys, Angry drivers and the lot of it But let's start with the basics...

From these lips…

Long time no speak. Here's a newish post for you. 

From these lips come a gentle smile.

That hides lies and truth!

That covers up the scars and wounds

Of pain and words uncouth.

A smirk, if you please,

But it’s the same response to a call of mushiness.

My smile means a lot to me.

But to you it’s what you make it to be.

From these lips come words of passion,

That represent my heart.

They speak of interest and things I love,

Turning speaking to an art.

A rude tongue, some might say.

But in response to your words they are a gateway

To understand what’s in my head

But it’s up to you to hear what you want instead.

From these lips come a quiver,

Of fear, nerves and anxiety.

hen the mood negates and shadows creep

the two layers shake beyond me.

I've no control over their movement

Nor the speed at which it occurs. 

Besides an unnoticed motion far surpasses

confused words and jumbled slurs.

From these lips come a sound

that choses different tonations

And accents and melody, and speed and volume

All representing different inclinations.

But all in their own way

Transgress a sound of music

Smooth and soft to thy ear

To cure the the noise of the world.

From these lips come the actions of lust

That burning desire within.

They yearn for your taste and return the favour

Of pleasure, passion and sin.

A foul instrument, you might call it.

But it bring pleasure for a moment or too

And I’ll sound my fulfilment,

When you satisfy and hope you do so too.

From these lips come … 

Questions about love?

Hello... is this thing on? Uhm CAN EVERYONE HEAR ME?! OH, I'm shouting!!??

Sorry... but well... I'M BACK!!!!

No applause? Oh... okay.

Yeah... Now all that awkward energy is out... Happy New month!! Yes it's 5 day's in... but IDC. So I took a little break from writing. As you know, I LOVE feedback, and the past few months have been amazing in terms of feedback. However, one thing was consistent... I only write about love. Now, while that's a lie... There's truth in it, in that a lot of my work centres around it. So I took a break to pump my creative juices elsewhere, but it didn't work. For over a month, nothing. So I'm back with an old piece a love bout. It's never been posted, but it's all I know about love. In the meantime, watch out... I'm back.

I'm excited about this one because theres an audio of it to, to a VERY famous instrumental.
Enjoy. x

Stars and serenity...

Happy New Year EveryOne!!!

For starters, I'm back from this....

© Mine!