Shameless Beauty

So apparently, I only ever write about love and heartbreak. So here's a poem NOT about love... well actually, it is, but a different type anyways. This is probably the most personal poem on this blog tbh, because there is NOTHING fictional about it and it's based on me (unlike most that are drawn from observation and mood - and sometimes hunger). Anyways... Hope you enjoy. x

Shame on me
For not being satisfied with my looks,
For accepting the standard set by the media
Acknowledging that I look nothing like the model on my television screen,
My make-up an outlier to the girl in the magazine
And let's not even try and match the princess in disney books.

No Angel.

So originally, I wrote this piece out of my frustration, but it turned out to be First person Mike Brown. Now I'm going by what I've read and how I feel, but in general theres a message here. I'd call it a tribute, but I'm not 100% sure if it's that tbh... Anyways... Here's a poem regarding Mike Brown

A 2:2 is NOT okay... but life will be.

I used to tell my mum that no one goes into an examination with the pure intention to fail, she'd laugh at me and tell me

'You know nothing Anto' (Shout to all the GoT fans) 

Thought I'd throw in a cheeky joke. Lol.

Anyways, turns out she was right, I got to Uni and well, while I won't say 'to fail', was their intention, it was simply to 'just pass'. Sad thing was I found myself in that category many a time. I'd be calculating scores I needed to 'just get this module over and done with.'

Anyway, I cleaned up this mentality and got on track for a 2:1. Whilst it was borderline too late, I also fell ill during exams. Long story short, I graduated with a 2:2. Along with those who were a couple % off a 2:1, I was gutted. Though I wasn't quite off the mark, I had mitigating circumstances, to which everyone's response 'Oh that's good then.' Well errmmm, no it's not. (Employers don't get that).

The truth is,  getting a 2:2 is not ok. 

The truth.

The truth is,

I'm nearly obsessed.

It's not 100% but borderline.

Like a macbook that's been charging but the light won't go green

I won't either

not with envy at least.

Not with sick either

Cos I have no reason to be that

Way about you, because we're not a we..

I'm in this alone, it's all just me

I create these things in my head to make me happy.