My summer fling with an ex... part 10 (The finale)

The finale.

The next day, my ex tried to comfort me, knowing that I could never retrieve what had been lost, but I decided to give whatever he had in store a try. I went about my business and when the time came, I tried to redeem things, but it was too long a process so I left.
I had plans to do family things, but my ex thought to experience my otherwise, so plans unfolded and we did other things with friends.
The day ended and my ex and I went our separate ways.

The next day, I woke up to a crying ex. It went on for hours, during church and even after. Tears so bad I decided to change locations. I knew our time was coming to an end but my exes tears dampened my spirits, besides someone was leaving the next day. We wrapped things up and off to bed we went. That night I said no words to my ex. I was too distraught.


The following day, I went to make my hair and then visit some friends and spent the night. The next day, I returned home and was meant to see another, but in an act of jealousy, my ex deterred him. That night I lay with my ex in bed, staring till sleep came.


Then it was over. My 14 days were up. As we drove to the airport, I watched as I left my ex behind, checked in and all and sat on the plane. Upon take-off I fought back the tears but a couple made it down my cheek. It was over. I knew we'd definitely be reunited, I mean, once you love Lagos, you're never gonna leave!

Lagos was my ex, and this summer, we had a fling!

Hope you enjoyed this and you weren't disappointed?


xx

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!: 'The reason' of the season.

MERRY CHRISTMASS EVERYONE!

Okay, so by UK time, I'm late by an 2hours + but other places are still in Christmas soo it's all good :)
Lol... Besides, in my household, Christmas day is also the day that my name becomes pleasnt on the tongues of all adults and I'm asked to do all sorts of tasks. And as my cooking is desired by many, the kitchen becomes my bedroom. This year it wasn't so bad tbh, and I love my pressies. Did you have a good one?

Well hope we didn't forget the reason for the season? Yups... Church was where I was at midnight! Lol. Celebrating the birth of Christ... But this post hasn't got much to do with that tbh. It's just a play on words.

This is called the reason, and well, it's my gift to you all this season!  Enjoy. Share. Feedback.

The reason

Feel bad for how you met me

You know it was wrong.

Though unspoken, I should've let be

You and I for the Long

Run, is all I want to do, away from you. 

But the voices in my head argue against that.

Telling me 'you can't do better, he's the best you'll ever have. ' 

And I'm beginning to believe them since all my luck is

'Bad, boys' all I seem to attract. 

Or do I just repel the goods ones in an attempt to not look weak.

Overly bearing, insistingly independent and convincingly confident I seem.

But there's fear and pain and sorrow and anger and so much more within.

So when I do move on, I compare him to you. And the similar traits are a perfect reminder. 

Of what I never made of what I had and

Ponder the possibility of having you back. 

And the next lad is wondering what's on my mind. 

Trying his hardest to submerge into my thoughts. 

But all his efforts are regarded as tries to submerge further under my clothes. 

So here I am barricading my heart and with my legs crossed pretending that's really the truth. 

When deep down I'm ready, for my heart to be open, but the holder of the key seems to be you. 

But you knoweth this not and I live in denial, I can't stand that you've completely moved on. 

So I psyche myself that I'm better than her or maybe I am and now I'm off to the world. 

To start a search in purity and faith but you seem to find your way back or I unknowingly want you or maybe I don't or I subliminally fall into your trap. 

And we talk and we catch up and there's so much to share, I feel like the beginning that you've always been there.

Then we flirt and we tease and something reignites, till you spoil the moment and have to remind 

Me. I'm not the one for you, but that also means for anyone.

Because I'm too damaged to move on, but too proud to move back. 

So I'm on my own little island . Trying to fix me and leave you behind but I don't seem to know how. 

Friendship is impossible and it's too late for us now so my future is without you till I've at least figured it out.

And when I do I'll tell you, not in an attempt to brag, but to be sure I'm strong and you no longer hold me.

To the next you whom I'm now ready to love please understand that it will take time. 

So don't be the other option, help me leave this Island and ill know when we've arrived.

Cos we'll both be able to feel it in all types of ways, our souls, our bodies and mind.

And I may fall overboard and travel away, I promise you I'll return one day,

For through thunderstorms and hail, no matter the season,

You'll bear with me, so long as you understand this reason.

© Toni Peters

My summer fling with an ex...9

On this day, my ex sought to remind me how those within the same place will forever break your heart and that distance would actually benefit us. We had plans, but mine we're crushed before I could even rearrange. I was hurt. I sat in the midst of my ex and pretended like nothing was wrong, but i lied, so that night, when we went out... I misbehaved. To the extent that I lost something so precious to me. I was gutted. How it happened... I don't even remember, I just remember the last face I saw was dark and handsome and a couple inches above me, I remember his name actually, we'll call him S. for the sake of anonymity. There was more drama that night, all so blurry now tbh, but It's a forgotten night I'll ALWAYS remember.

My summer fling with an ex...8

Again my ex woke my up joyfully and gave me the treatment I had lacked. I had a couple of things to do, so my ex was ignored for a bit, but then as my plans had it, we were off again. My ex was set to show me that my new habits would be better of enjoyed in the presence of my ex. We faffed and bantered with a couple more friends and I was whisked away. My ex gave me and my visitor some private time. I wanted this time so much, and my ex understood this. A little more happened and then we were off for the night.
My ex and I fell asleep.

My summer fling with an ex...7

The next day I made plans of my own and my ex just went along with them. From brunch to just jamming. There wasn't much. Still in the midst of my ex at all times. I felt warm... literally. Lol.
The day was live and the night was chilled and my ex gave me further insight on returning.  I resisted.
That night, my ex and I ... I don't actually remember you know. Dammit!

My summer fling with an ex 6

My ex took me back to that familiar yet unfamiliar place again. And this time he made it known it was probably my last time there. I played around and caused a little damage while there but none to anyone's harm. I bumped into a couple of familiar faces. That was the thing, in the presence of my ex you were bound to see someone you know everyday. I wasn't complaining though.
We departed ways, as I left behind a precious item. I knew I'd get it back, so I wasn't so sad.

From there, my ex took me off to see some more family. Mine this time and we went for dinner, It was nice dinner and again, I saw familiar faces (who this time I dodged).
My ex and my cousins and I rounded up the day and well it was the very least to say one of the best.

Window to your heart

Window to your heart.

Eyelashes so long their shadows falsificating tears

Creating the illusion that you are unhappy.

Your rigid smile bearing a great resemblance to a frown

Heavy make up insinuating that you are hiding something.

You lies are transparent.

I can see deep within,

Your eyes a window to your heart,

And they are dark, meaning your heart is off.

No love is pumping out, just life

You merely live

As an organism and nothing more.

The heating must be off too as no one lives there

And that could explain the feeling in you presence

Cold.

Wait, footprints…

Someone was here before.

And they did a lot of damage too

But I’m here to clean things up

I’m here to mend you

I’ll take may time and tidy it all

Right down to your Left Ventricle

Ensuring the septum is only a biological division

And never gets in the way of my lifetime vision

A surgical procedure, my love is the incision

I’ll operate this clean up, with ultimate precision

And the results is up to, yes it’s your decision

Would you love again?

I promise to create memories

Ones that’ll last

I wont rush – I – an-*

D you,

But to Vena** we shall go,

Sipping glasses of cava***

Mending your Vena Cava

We can shop there too.

Losing focus.

It’s what happens with you

Your sorrow is intriguing

And your happiness is blue

But I promise once I’ve fixed you, your heart will NEVER bleed.

And your natural beauty is what shine through

Keep the window locked, so not just anybody can climb in

But give me the keys to your heart

I’ll help you see deep within

I’ll help you love again.

See these opening are more than just eyes to a being.

It’s an opening to what really lies inside.

And if you let me I’ll maintain it to the fullest

That’s if you let me reside

In your heart

That is where I long to be

With no other person but yourself and me

So don’t be afraid, to give me the key

Don’t hesitate to let me fulfil your needs

Let me be the one to be in control.

But I’ll do it with love and compassion as well

And I’ll make our story, one to show and tell

And you’ll never have to revisit this old love-hell

For as the guardian to the key to your heart,

I will ALWAYS love you.

                                                *************************

© Toni Peters

*Rush-I-an : Russian

**Vena is Russian for Vienna

***Cava is a Spanish wine.

My sumer fling with an ex... 5

After a loong ass day with my ex, we spent the next day running up and down doing errands. He seemed to be angry with me and kinda trimmed my plans down destroying my mood and that night my ex gave me the no interest whatsoever. I hated my ex.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!

WHOOOP WHOOP!!
This writer has officially clocked 21 guys!! I know... so Old yet funky?? Hahaha!!!

Well I'd really just like to use this as a way to BRAG about the amazing weekend I had, but I'm not gonna tell you about my birthday dinner and the partying after, the family outing (Pizza and bowling) and the further clubbing that followed, No no. I am going to THANK you all.
I should write out all names, but I have to go to work... but THANK YOU ALL!!!

Also Hope you guys are enjoying my short sequence 'A summer fling with my ex... ' If you know me well, try and work out who it is before the final chapter and lemme know your guesses. Hahaha... ;)

Love you all.

My summer fling with an ex... 4

I struggled to wake up this time. I was tired from the eventful night I'd had with my ex. So I ushered those around me to get dressed first and I to followed. I wasn't in the mood for what my ex had to offer for breakfast so I made myself a bowl of rice krispies and moved on with my Day.
We went to church and I was reminded of why my ex was so, but still entertained at the same time. I realised that with the right adjustments which were willing to be made, my ex would indeed prove different. After the long service, we went for some yoghurt and then my ex took me to an event.
It wasn't the best I had attend of it's type, but it was definitely fun. And by night time I was extremely exhausted and all I remember was sleeping off on my ex.

My summer fling with an ex... 3

I was used to my ex waking me up, and he did it in a gentle manner. Never disrupting my sleep but simply easing me into the world. I smiled when I woke up realised I was in his arms and ushered those around me to get ready for what he had in store for me that day. Although my ex had a plan, I too had one so I used him to do what I needed to do and what others needed to do as well and by the time the day was up my ex had become accustomed to my ways, realising that I too had changed. He interjected into my schedule throwing few subliminal hints as to why we were great together but I always shrugged them off for other things or people.
I got home pretty late that evening and my ex had gone to sleep. So I and the others clambered into bed.
When the others had slept off, he woke me up. He took me outside to meet some of his own. We laughed talked and were merry for a while but then he quickly reminded me that I had a big day ahead of me to come. And so off we went back to bed. Again my ex was good to me that night and he was considerate to those who lay beside us.

My summer fling with an ex... 2

My ex woke me up the next day, but we had no time for breakfast. He let me in to a preview of the hustle and bustle of his everyday life. Subtly reminding me of why he barely had my time. I remember him taking me on this everlasting journey. A place so familiar to me yet foreign to him. I connected instantly, but could feel his jealousy. Besides, we weren't alone. So we left.
 He took me back to the spot where we had reunited, and at that moment I remembered why I loved him. But that feeling disappeared quick and by night, I forgotten about him. I was occupied by others who's company I enjoyed and that night, I slept well too. That night I slept in the midst of my ex and others.

My summer fling with an ex.... 1

Summer lovin... happened so fast...
I can't wait to fall in love, with, you...

Oooo summer love tingles man. I finally get these songs.

A couple years ago I went out this entity. Our relationship was strong and healthy with the odd fights but life tore us apart as distance came into position. However this summer I learnt that we'd be reunited. When I discovered this, I became MORE than excited. I was head over heels and was ready to face my ex. He wasn't aware that we'd be reunited and I though it cute to surprise him although he had been expecting me.
On the morning of my arrival, he came to see me. His strong familiar smell hit me in the face as I walked past hundreds of people, smiling as I walked in his midst. It's been long I whispered to him. He merely smiled and began to show me things about him that had changed and things that had remained the same.
That night I went to sleep early.That night my ex was good to me.


xxx

A month of absence

Okay so I'm back from my hiatus guys!!

I do apologise for taking a break for so long, but a number of things have played part in my absence!

Anyway, the following poem plays an important role in my absence, so enjoy and please share and give feedback. 

What a CHEAP Zucker...

What's this I am hearing? Mark Zuckerberg 'only' spent $50,000 on a wedding ring for his wife? Please wait as the fucks tosses I actually give load....

It's exam time and yet again here we are wailing about another celebrity's choice of lifestyle. I remember the days when when people would talk about marriage and I'd be like 'eurgh...'.. oh wait, sorry, that was yesterday. Anyway, my point simply is, those of you who agree with Miss Linda Ikeji on how much he 'should've' spent are all zuckers. (See what I did there?) 

ANYWAY!!!
Now that I have your attention (you might as well read on) I have another poem. Thought I'd keep it in the theme of things, no not wedding's and that... BULLCRAP!!!  This one has no title... so title it yourself guys... don't be shy to leave your suggestions below....

"I've got that', 'I've been there' you so often say,
When behind the screen of your laptop is where you lay.
You tweet to us all 'Out with the girlies today'
But really, you just lie.

'I smashed her'. 'She's easy' you confidently boast.
But we all know the truth is she left you to roast.
Your gameless flows in your attempt to toast.
We all really know that you lie.

One prada, one gucci and Brazillian weave you purchased.
But the hair is growing nappy, yourself you disgrace,
And the designer logos seem to have misplaced,
Do we need to point out that you lie?

There's so many lies that each of us tell
Even though we know they take us to hell.
But it's rude and annoying when idiots are bait.
So if your bullcrapping me, PLEASE DO IT WELL!

HOPE YOU ENJOYED THIS!

(Oh and sorry I lied to get you guys here...but hey...it worked, No?|)

© Toni Peters

HAPPY 1ST BIRTHDAY!

'A year ago I was sat behind this screen (well actually of an older laptop), and decided that I wanted to take poetry much more seriously, I'd already gone through the process of starting up ToniVerse, but i wanted there to be more of it. I wanted the VERSE aspect of this 'brand' to stand out. So like I sat down after my exams and well I typed.

A year and 39 posts later, ToniVerse still lives and all that's changed...  well nothing. I mean I've grown/developed/expanded over the year, but I am still me, and ToniVerse still represents the other side of sanity and I am still a writer; a poet. 

I'd like to thank you guys that have visited at least on a monthly basis and that. I will not lie, I did not expect to have nearly 2000 views (as of when writing this) in a year, in all honesty, I didn't even think I'd get up to 10% of that, but hey... I guess I'm doing something right?

I don't wanna ramble on any longer, but yeah... HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO TONIVERSE!!!!!!!!!! 

(Unfortunately this is the peak period of my examinations so I don't have anything prepared for you guys, but I promise something before the end of the month guys) 

LOVE TO YOU ALL! 

  xx

That feeling Part 1

Sensational feel when I hear you come around.
I get weak by the thought of your presence.
Then I inhale your scent and I am whisked away,
to a land where my imagination alone knows.

You glance in this direction;
Leaving me merciless at the stare of your eyes
And as I stare in response with my mind long adrift,
You smirk at my odd looking ways.

The edge of your mouth raises ever so slightly,
But your teeth somewhat glimmer through,
the tiny gap between your separated lips,
the lips so esculent and inviting.

Control yourself' My mind tells me.

But then, then you speak.
You utter your words, yet you bellow.
Your voice so melodically deep.
It rings in my head repeatedly,
Usurping my thoughts by command.

O ye stranger, who hath walketh into my life.
I find myself in awe of your being.
You are beautiful yet masculine
Extremely attractive.

You leave.
I'm left with a memory alone.


© Toni Peters

Solution point.

I want to cry but there no tears to fall
For this pain goes deeper than earth.
I am burned by no heat and drowned on dry land
The situation is one which only you understand
The cause of my pain is also the solution.

Openmindedness

Remember that post I had about eight months ago about photography? It's where a lot of my viewers started paying an interest. (Here it is:EVERYONE is into photography) I'll admit it's definitly not my best piece, I mean I read it over and I cringe at the way I expressed my self, but I guess that's all part of maturity right? Being able to look back on yourself and see how you could've done things better.  I've grown a lot through this blog and I can see that through my new pieces up against the old ones I bring up for you guys, especially poetry. In fact in terms of poetry I've grown a lot. I haven't had time for just pure writing, which is what I started with initially. At one point I did want to keep this all about poetry, but I also thought to express my mind in a non-poetic manner as well. 

Paradigm Shift

Been so sleep deprived lately I haven't even paid sufficient attention to my darling blog. :(
This month we've done particularly well in terms of audience and I thank you all for being consistent in viewing and all that.

I must confess, I'm a bit blank on words, simply because my brain is too tired to function, so here's an old poem for those of you who are new to this. Feel free to check out other posts, and remember, feedback is VITAL! Lemme know your thoughts on my work. I only want to get better.

I can be your leader.

In the mood of campaigning, and running for ACS President! (YEAH.. SO VOTE FOR ME!!! ) LOL.. i wrote this:
                                       

I can be a leader because I understand.
I've previously held positions of power before.
So I'm not one to break-down and walk out the door.
I function well, under pressure, I strive to do more.
That's why Toni should be the one you should vote for.

The reality.

They say art is much deeper than what meets the eye,
But whats a detailed painting to a woman who is blind?
Or a plain white board to the man who has no time?

Or a poster of an orchard to the student that is high?

They say art is more than what meets the eye.

All I'm asking...

YES! This is yet ANOTHER blog post about KONY 2012... I'm not forcing you to read, but you might as well!
We've all heard about it, THANK GOD and we all have our opinions (which we are entitled to). We are free to share them, I mean heck that's what I'm doing. However, I think imposing them on others is plain ol stupid.

Now, if you didn't watch the full video, I will disregard all ounces of validity in your 'argument'. If you did and you're all for #KONY12.... I would very much like to understand why (please leave a comment).

I've done my research (trust me, I went iiiiiiiinnnnnn) and I'm gonna gve you 5 reasons why I DON'T support this 'campaign' (After all, that is what it sounds like... No?) Below are 3 videos and 2 poss. 

FACE OF AFRICULTURAL

Nottingham Africultural Society presents to you....

    Face Of Africultural, Nottingham On The 17Th Of March. Beauty Pageant/Fashion Show.

     Venue of Event-  Studio 7, Kings meadow campus.

After party- L'asies Bar Nottingham, NG1 1PR, starts 11pm.

 Performance by Ajebutter22 - Senrenre!

Your hosts:  JoulesDaKid & Dami'ete Amachree. 

Homework

Hey there.
I know it's been a while. I apologise. :) Seeing as you've all waited this long, I'm pretty sure yu caould all wait a little longer?? No? Fine... here it goes:


A while ago, (nearly two years to be precise) I asked someone to give me an assignment. Give me a topic to write on, and I'd come up with something.

This was the homework.

Contrast between darkness and Light. Referring to good, evil and religion. Also personify symbolic things like the sun and moon.

I say: Damn...

As I am, I constantly think about my past.
How I was stupid, naive, silly and daft.
How I lived out year, like the last was a draft.
How I'd want things and ponder and never try
How my wrong decisions are the ones I'll NEVER regret,

I'm always looking back on my past...
And I say to myself
'Damn, I hope my story is one I'll never forget.'

Happy Valentine's Day

I thought I'd give you a cliche post this month. Why.. because I can!
Happy Valentine's day to you all, especially to those who don't have a Valentine. I don't have one either so you could be mine if you like! ^_^  Not like you have a choice really, because I love each and every single one of you that support me, so yeah YOU JUST GOT VALETINED!!! Uhhmmm..yeeaahhh... soooooo..... Anyway, for this piece I had to dig deep inside to find an emotion that can be identified with love. You see my views on love are rather sceptical but as a lot of you believe in it, I'll respect that. Anyway, here's my poem for you guys.

Oh and quick disclaimer... well not really a disclaimer b ut yeah, this poem is in no way in reference to anyone in my life at present. So if you feel you're on to something, either you think it's about someone or even worse yourself, I apologise. 

Anyway...

Scouting for girls...

This is not a post about the band  scouting for girls, neither is it a post about boys doing so..(With Valentine's day ound the corner, I'm pretty sure no guy is scouting really). This post is in fact about myself doing so. No no no, I'm not looking for a girlfriend.. I'm looking for other females out there who write...


The first person on my list is a 17 year-old girl by the name of Ella Etareri. I've known Ella for about 3 years  now and if there's one thing I know about her, it's that she knows how to use her words. She can manipulate your emotions.


Below is a brief interview with the young lady herself...

Love after death...

It's not my place to tell you who, but someone has died. And as you know, I get really emotional when I hear about death. I don't need to know the cause...just the relationship btwn the two individuals concerned and I'm teary eyed. I'm angry. I'm cold. I'm lonely. I'm dark.
I don't mean to depress you but like we all hate death, I can't handle it. I'm lucky enough to have only ever lost one person I've developed a relationship, and being greedy, I'd rather die than anyone I know. Living on the assumption that everyone else lives this way, ones death kills me. The worst part is, all I can ever do is comfort in words. I know this is greedy, but please can none of you die before me? Like I don't think I'll be able to cope with someone I know gone. I'm that friend that checks on EVERYONE (at least I try), so when I can't check on you.... Remember this: To a dying love (Part 1) yeah...

Okay I said I wasn't gonna depress you. I know this month is about love too soo here's wha I produced in my moment of vulnerability.

Joyful January

OMG.
January has been an amazing month for me... like a countless number of blessings have come my way this month. I am ever so grateful.

First of I'd like to thank everyone who has visited and shared this blog... this month alone I've had nearly 300 hits.. so thanks ALOT guys! I promise to keep on writing, as I actually feel I have an audience to attend to.
Also this month I've met sooo many amazing people and I've had soo much fun!!! Even though I've had exams, but yeah, no disappointments nothing! So 2012 is going good for me.. how's it going for you?

Anyway, here's a little something from the past as I haven't finished what's in store, but I promise next month will be good with something for Valentine's day and it's mood. :P

Anyway, A massive thank you once again.. and here:

Dead or Alive.

I began to die the moment I was born,
From my very first breath, to the opening of my eyes.
For Life is to live and to also kill
It's a mother, yet a murderer in disguise.

Embrace yourself.

Embrace yourself before anyone else does.
Love yourself before person tells you they do.
Because it's easy to believe when it's said for the first time.
And simple to overlook what sayer is trying to achieve.

Never down look on yourself, it makes their job easy,
Have faith in your words, they'll protect you one day,
From a low life or a scum bag, who can smell low self esteem,
And has come as you 'saviour', your 'source of relief.'

Happy New Year.!

Right about now....

I know, I know, that has nothing to do with anything it was just in my head and I had to say it.
Anyway, this isn't one of those pots where I promise to update a lot more during the year or where I apologise for last year, it's a thank you. I got A LOT of feedback for my work over the pat 8 months, and it made me smile. Thank for those who have read 80% and above of my posts, thanks to those who shared the link, thanks to those who told a friend .. jut THANKS TO EVERYONE!

Hope you all have a lovely 2012. I know I will... ;)