Chronicles of an IJGB: I'm now an INTE

There is a long standing debate about how long ones IJGB title lasts. When does the status expire? When does the term lose validity to it's owner?

Theories suggest that it is when you start telling people:

'Come and join me'  or 'She's not on seat' or 'Am at your back?'

or when you crave Amala from the local bukka over chicken and chips.

or When you find that you're constantly sqeezing your face to avoid interaction

Perhaps it's When you drive like a mad man?


or Refering to random older non-family members as 'Mummy' or 'Daddy' when ma/sah doesn't work.

 or start Shouting 'Heysssss' and all other sound variations to get someones attention

Maybe it's when You say POS when you want the card machine

or You get frustrated when you tell the taxi driver to take you to a cash point and he's confused

I'll tell you this it's not then...


Your IJGB status expires Terminates the moment you begin to plan your exit.

When Lagos takes it's final toll on you and you can no longer stand the traffic, heat, body odour,  bad air, smelling mouths, abysmal customer service, terrible network and exorbitant prices, cashiers not having change, the POS not working or even worse... no POS, freeloading visitors, general terrible attitudes, paying people to park your car, daily* toll fees, yoruba demons, creepy men, frosh babes...

When you find that you are generally angrier, impatient, irritable, you find yourself merry-go randing, you're always dilly-dalllying, you look forward to extreme turn-ups or complete hibernation at the weekend because it's literally all or nothing - no room for middle ground. When you find that falz' comical accent is more of a dialect to the average lagosian and that you're the odd actor for speaking foneh. When you discover that foneh is not by travel, but by passing MM1 or even 2.

When you're one of these people:

 

 

 

When you start to consider a masters in physics even though you studies drama, and failing so you get to be abroad a little longer. When you begin to think about dating a guy named Humphery who works on a farm in Epson or dating Charlie the girl whose family house is in Worcestershire. When you consider employment as a cleaner in McDonalds, because it pays more than A postgraduate certified, Law school completed, NYSC Survivor; or when you consider committing a crime because perhaps London Prison is sweeter than Lagos traffic (Okay, maybe a little extreme there)

That's when you graduate from an IJGB to an INTE.

LAGOS IS A MONSTER!!!

Last week took it's toll on EVERYONE I know.
The terrible light situation, coupled with fuel scarcity, along with the heat in Lagos had everyone at the brink of if not in tears. Not a day that I did not cry. And for the days that it wasn't my eyes sweating, the rest of my body was. TMI? No this is the reality of Lagos heat. Because you can be chasing imaginary fly way from under your knee only to find out it's actually sweat trickling down.

A lot of the time, for me personally, Food is my greatest comfort... after Jesus and bae** - who is going through the same thing as you so there's reallly no point in complaining. I cried to my mum but she really just thought I was being a brat and my siblings... ERROR. They will use you and laugh away your life. My Dad will just give me 'who sent you to Nigeria?' tales... so yeah, after prayer and bae rants... Food is my next BFF.

I'm not sure about you guys, but if you're on this wave length, I'm giving three lucky winners an Urban Fuxion voucher worth N2000!!!!

Paticipants can win by

1. Answer the question: What does #INTE mean?

2. Give a reason why you are an #INTE.(don't forget to include the hashtag)

3. Tag my twiter @ToniVerse and @_ThatShe_

Winners will be picked FRIDAY 18TH MARCH,2016!!! Get to sharing goiz!!!!



- Your favourite IJGB INTE
xx



*daily - luckily for some it's a very rare cost.
**bae - no this isn't a new update, I'm just