Chronicles: The end.

I got a couple messages over the past few weeks about how 'I didn't say bye.'

Here's the thing, Nigerians are very dramatic about the unsaid.

'You can't greet?'
'Ahh, so if I didn't ask, you won't tell me.'
'Oh! I didn't know, you didn't tell me now.'
'You didn't tell me you died.'

Okay the last one is extreme, but you get my point. Anyway, I left Nigeria just over 3 weeks ago and it's been a lot of 'You left?' 'No bye?' and all that stuff, and well quite frankly, I've not felt a single atom of guilt. HOWEVER... last week, someone messaged me saying...

'You really left us and abandoned your chronicles... left us hanging in the middle of nowhere.'

MATE! MATE! MATE!!!!!!!
I felt TERRIBLE!!

I'm so sorry, but the truth is, I really didn't think it was necessary. I mean, that's a bit insensitive now that I'm saying it out loud, but I guess it's the truth.

I did have some stuff in store so I'm gonna leave you with the inital post I had in mind for you guys... Enjoy and well THANK YOU for sticking with the Chronicles of an IJGB!

Written: 24.04.2016  07:56:29

It so happens that it's been 365 days since I landed in Lagos.

As I write this post i have mixed emotions. I'm leaving Nigeria in less than a month  about three weeks just over two weeks  ten days... I leave in a couple hours. ... yup i keep re-writing it. On one hand I'm joyous as fudge cake to leave this place. To return to a land of consistent electricity and wi-fi. To return to a land of clean water and no poignant body odour. To return to a land of sane traffic and smooth transport systems. To embark on new life journeys. My masters. To go get some professional courses done. To get that drivers license. To do soo much that Nigeria 'hindered' me from.

On the other hand. I'm going to miss it. The FOOD - From Suya to Amala and Gbegiri (can someone send me a recipe for this in 10 days - I WILL LOVE YOU FO'EVA), The never ending rocks - I doubt there's a place that parties like Lagosians. I mean you guys say NY is the city that Never sleeps. But in Lagos, they suffer party AND sleep. We do it man. The stress - okay, this is a controversial one, but I've observed that I thrive in stressful situations. I mean I went and got this fabulous body while I was out here (stress = weight loss). The freedom - If you are aware of my living predicament, then ya, this one makes sense. Most of all, I'm going to miss my friends!!!
I met sooo many amazing people and my year out here was made 100 times better because of friends.

I don't know HOW I'm not crying thinking about how long it's gonna be till I'm back here.

I thouroughly enjoyed this year out here. Thank you to EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU THAT MADE IT SPECIAL. I LOVE YOU GUYS.

I learnt A lot out here and there were many tears and double laughs and all in all.. Lagos is over. I really can't tell you how to do Lagos... but here's a couple tips on what made the struggle easy.

Survivors hand kit. 

Being an IGJB has no manual. There's no handbook on how to do it. 
There's nothing. And my times yourself you will find yourself fed up of lagosing. Your tweets, your messages, your FB, whatsapp and BBM status, your snapchats... EVERYTHING will say 'I can't do/with Lagos again.' 

But here's some few survival tips. 

1. A power bank. 
I'm convinced these things mess up your phone. But they are soooo key.

PHCN and USELESS

2. Have one or two taxi guys

Or three or four. Essentially have one for the day one for the night, one for the island and one for the mainland. You might not use them so often especially if you have a car. But once in a while you'll find someone who does. And building a rapport with them helps give you cheaper prices. Though sometimes they have brain touch and act like uber surge. If you drive, you have less of a worry, but even then, fuel scarcity, and unexpected car issues. 


3. Get you a mechanic with respeck!! 
So if your a driver, you're going to need a mechanic that values you as a customer. My friend once left his car with the mechanic for 'two days'. But the mechanic didn't care about his time. Kept it for two weeks. Talmbout 'Oga, I get other job.' 

You also want one who is reliable and won't , while fixing one problem, create another. You want one who you can recommend to others. I know a guy in Ogudu - his name is Kaz. Honestly, he's the best guy! I lost his business card though. But I can describe where to find him if need be.


4. Get you a good tailor. 
Because Monday phone calls are usually - 'Do you want to come for a wedding with me on Saturday?' If your tailor knows you very well... Then you'll never be disappointed. Just don't expect them to perform as great for someone else. This is what happened when I took my friend to my tailor for an express job. I think she just got tired and used someone else's measurements entirely. 


What she asked for...

 What she got...

5. Sunscreen, Sunglasses and Anything else that'll protect you from the sun. 

Even though you are black, you are not above burnt. Trust me!!! The way the sun burns once it's hot in Lagos is not something you should take for granted. Protect and love your skin. Moisturise even if it's lightly. Use a great soap (I recommend Dudu Osun).  Besides, Sunglasses help with the whole hiding from someone - and everyone in Lagos 'doesn't want people to see me'.
You are no Mother of Dragons in Lagos, YOU WILL BURN! 


6. Do something that's not work, weekly. 
I used to play basketball weekly. IT WAS FUUUN!! Always fun, a great work out, and I met AMAZING people!! Of course there was a little drama involved (I was not part oh), but all in all, it was good. Do something that allows you meet people, stay fit and have fun. I know a very functional volleyball group, and the basketball ladies are still in town. ALSO, you could get involved with Socialiga events - they cater to EVERYONE.